Yes, indeed, it happens everyday and eventually to everybody with no exception. I can't help but to feel that, life itself is fragile. God granted it to us, and has every right to take it back, so why are we acting like we're gonna live forever? We're trying our best in this life and the here after.
If I think that this life is scary, the here after is the point of no return. What we will receive later is the result of how we behave now. So this life is the utmost important TEST. Of all the certainties in life, death is an absolute. Ironic. Let our last word, be the pledge of our belief in our creator and his messenger.
" Sesungguhnya solatku, ibadahku, hidupku, matiku, kerana Allah Taala"
Ok enough of creepy post. Sambung study ekonomi yang aku sangat suke=) honest!
This is how I feel, I know i'm deteriorating, by performance. It's kinda hard to say so, and shameful to say for someone as motivated as myself that I cannot find it in me to fight against the feelings of loosing my momentum. I used to be buried down by all my work, but strangely enough I was able to keep it together.
Now, I'm not sure why, and I know as hell nobody will be able to help me as i'm just.......and i should help myself up, but how? I hate this feeling of taking what I have for granted. I don't want to, and I know I shouldn't , but I do. This is what I'm doing, and it hurts my soul that I'm going against my means.
Is it because I haven't found what am looking for? What am I really passionate about?, what am really I good at? It seems I'm very average at most things. WTH? Yes, I am determined to finish my studies,and I have to admit that with the level of self-confidence I have in myself, i isn't all that hard, but what makes thing extremely difficult is that I can't seem to be enthusiastic and passionate about it.
Am I taking my capabilities and abilities for granted? I know that I could grasp on a concept quite easily, I know I can achieve high marks if I wanted to put an effort to it, I know for sure that I can analyze difficult material and come to the level very high of understanding that enables me to connect one concept to another. I know it all, but instead of using this knowledge and confidence to assist me, I kinda use it against me.
Now, I take things too lightly, too lenient, I don't find studying to be very adventures anymore, at times I feel like I should be able to grasp information even without further assistance.( I'm taking it for granted). What happen to me?
I miss studying in my diploma years, I take things seriously, I didn't know of my abilities and I didn't really belief in my self, not to that kind of confidence that I have now. However to be honest, they are the one that pushed me to put in extra effort. I did not take education for granted.
Or am I too far from you God? Have life been occupying me so much that I forgot all the important things in life? But I do remember You all the time. Have I been taking your gift for granted? Have I been blinded by the lights? What is it that deteriorates me? I don't thing I've change that much, I don't have a lot of issues, or self conflict that needed much attention like other people do. I don't have boyfriend problem to distract me, I don't really have problems with friends (in fact.. i'm happy=D) , what is it?
This is all I have, and I'm tossing it away, not fully utilizing the opportunity to be something great, why? Should I go to a counseling session then? Haha.
It's hard for me to feel empty, I believe i'm filled. I don't go search for the wrong things, I know for a fact that if ever we feel down or a bit empty, the only one we should run to is God, for He is always there, always care, always and always.
Sometimes it feels like my time is running short, I'll leave someday, I should make my days worthwhile, so go on almas, what's stopping you? God help me, for you are The Only One who understand everything, in You i trust.
Ok, enough with confession, I've got economics test tomorrow.
Post berbahasa Melayu, kagum tak? ( harus kagum okey!) haha. Pada pendapat saya, orang kalau cantik memang sedap dipandang, walaubagaimanapun, untuk terus manis dipandang, menawan hati, and indah berkawan, hati and sikap kena baik, baru berkekalan lama keadaan 'sedap mata memandang' itu.
Easy to the eyes and so much easier to our heart. hehe. Macam mana nak tahu orang yang kita kawan tu baik hatinya atau tidak? Mudah, tengoklah tuturkatanya, sikapnya, pemikirannya, cara dia memandang dan melayan orang lain dan segala perlakuannya manggambarkan hatinya. The mind is the window to our soul.
Saya adalah antara orang yang susah untuk cakap seseorang itu cantik, sebelum saya kenal hati budinya. Tapi bila dah kenal, mulalah, memuji sana-sini. Ini disebabkan hati berkenan dengan cara orang tersebut, maka mata memandang dengan pandangan penuh gembira.
Selalunya kalau orang itu baik, saya selalu tertanya-tanya, bagaimana agaknya latarbelakang dan pengalaman yang dilalui oleh dia yang membuatkan terbentuknya sikap yang baik itu. Tapi benar, iman tidak akan dapat diwarisi. Didikan yang baik sangat penting, tapi tidak semestinya didikan yang baik menghasilkan sesuatu seperti yang dijangka. Penjagaan hati itu penting. Setiap orang mempunyai cara sendiri dalam mengaplikasi pengetahuan yang diperolehi.
Apa yang saya cuba tekankan disini adalah, kita perlu teramat bersyukur dengan apa yang diberikan oleh Allah, sebagai contoh, paras rupa, walau pada pandangan kita selalu sahaja ada yang tak kena, janganlah dilayan sangat kenegetifan itu, sesungguhnya apa yang diberikan oleh Allah, itulah yang TERBAIK untuk kita.
Walaubagaimanapun, usahakan untuk sesuatu yang boleh kita kecapi, hati dan akhlak mesti baik, dengan itu, secara automatiknya orang pun akan pandang kita sangat cantik. Jika betul ada orang yang hanya memandang pada paras rupa, adakah kita mahu berkawan dan mengiakan golongan tersebut? Sedangkan kita tahu, bahawasanya manusia tak berhak atas pujian yang diberikan atas paras rupa kita, Allah lah pemilik segala sesuatu. Sedangkan kekuatan yang kita ada dan udara yang kita hidu ini milik-Nya, masakan kita layak untuk dipuji? Tak perlulah kita mahu mengejar pengiktirafan orang yang berfikiran sempit ( shallow). Tetapi, bersahabatlah dengan orang yang menerima kita seadanya dan sentiasa menegur untuk kebaikan. Seperti dalam surah Al'-Asr ( Time).
In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful . Time is witness that, surely, mankind suffers loss except for those of faith, Who do good, and become a model of truthful living,and together practice patience and constancy.
Translated by Kabir Helminski ( Translasi ini saya Google, tapi dah dicreditkan, takde plagiarism okey=p)
Semoga kita tidak tergolong dalam orang-orang yang rugi. Post ini peringatan untuk diri saya terutamanya. InsyAllah.
